Narrator & Mary Sues
by Scoobtheelvish
Summary: You know those dang Mary Sue's that always appear in HP fanfiction. Well now they have been accompied by a narrator, watch as Hogwarts unfolds into something far more worse. May contain some OOC.
1. Chapter 1

Mary Sue's and the Narrator

Harry Potter

**Disclamor: Even though i wish i could own Harry Potter, I do not. J.K rowling does. The mary sue's are from other story's as well, yet the Narrator is mine.**

"So our story starts here...as it usually does in these horrible fan fictions, where a mary sue lies." The narrator proclaimed sitting in IT's own compartment, watching 4 or 5 mary sue's walk in. "Yes, they all seem to have their own personalities...but wait what is this?", the Narrator looked them all over, and cried in agony. One Mary - sue came over and fell into the seat, she looked depressed, but ever so beautiful. Nothing about her seemed imperfect, yet she was a goth? The narrator laughed internally, but you could only see IT shift. The mary sue gave an introduction on her life, and we soon learned that she was named, Crystal. Her father raped her and her mother was a crack whore. She eventually moved from the U.S.A, because you had no freedom their. The narrator continued to shift, which automaticly ment that IT was trying to keep from laughing at the 'poor' girl. She was entering her 4th year, though she had never attended a magic school in her life. Also, her boyfriend was none other, then the dead Cedric Diggory. The narrator finnaly laughed at her, and couldn't stop. Crystal acted shock, and ran out of the compartment.

The narrator sighed, as another mary sue sat next to it. This mary sue was from Japan, she was also a exchange student. Another weird fact, she was from Sailor Moon, the lost character. The narrator, never have watched anime in IT's life, looked confused. From then on, the lost character, gave an introduction. The narrator poisoned ITself mentally. This person was none other then Sailor Earth, she was born on earth, and had all the attacks. From Wind, to Ice, fire, and darkness, you name it, she possessed it. She also had never attended a magic school, and was sent here to protect harry potter, from Lord Voldemort, since he was her father. 'How original' the narrator thought, and watched Sailor Earth ramble on continously. IT never found out what year she was attending, only the fact that she was reincarnated from Kikyo, on inuyasha. "Righto, NEXT!" the Narrator yelled, and pushed Sailor Earth out of the compartment

A tall blonde girl, who very tan, and had piercing blue eyes that could kill, stepped up next to the Narrator. The narrator sighed, and patted the seat, and noted this was going to be a long ride. She sat down, and looked at the narrator seductively putting a hand on IT's leg, while smiling her perfectly straight white teeth. "No, none of that!" The narrator exclaimed, pushing the girl's hand off. She looked stricken, at the fact that she was turned down. Nonetheless, she gave her bio. She was from a nun. school, in Ireland, and was secretly dating Draco Malfoy. 'Who didn't see this coming?' The narrator took a deep breath and watched the scenery pass by. The girl got the hint, noting she was not wanted, she then left to find her 'boyfriend'.

A girl across from the Narrator, shifted, nonetheless stayed quiet. 'Oh when will this end?' It asked itself, looking over to the girl. It knew this type already, she was the mary sue that had been going to Hogwarts for several years, and never seemed mentioned in the books or movies. She was in the same grade as Harry, and secretly infactuated him. She was a bookworm like Hermione, yet the two of them had never met. Another intresting point was that she was in griffindor. She looked over to the Narrator, but then quickly looked away. 'Oh yes, the shy one' the narrator thought.

The narrator seemed to forget of her, as the muggle turned her cd player up very loud. 'Great...' IT thought. The narrator looked over the muggle, seeing as she had magically found this train, and was using electronics, which wouldn't work. Not only that, her shirt said, ''Brunettes have more fun" and that was all it took, the narratator got up, and left the compartment.


	2. Chapter 2

Passing the getting out of the train, and making our way to the greathall.

Disclamor: No i don't own Harry Potter, you know who does. I don't own the mary-sue's. I own the Narrator, for it is mine.

(A/N: The narrator may speak in parenthesis sometimes...beware )

Inhaling deep breaths the narrator stood at the back of the greathall. Dumbledore appeared out of nowhere, and started to narrate the palace. The narrator raised a brow, and said, "Stop, stop, those our my lines!". Dumbledore watched the narrator, and then continued. The narrator slapped it's head, and then replied, "No, no! I'm the narrator, your the fat headmaster. You no speak in foreshadowing, i do. Stop it! Now go back up to your post, and give your speech" The narrator said, feeling like it was talking to a 7 year old. Dumbledore apparated to the stand. (You cannot apparate in Hogwarts, yet this is fanfiction...you weren't suppose to know that- HAGRID GET OUTTA MY HEAD! ) The narrator banged its head on the wall, only in time for the ceremony to begin.

"Attention...HEAR YE HEAR YE!" Dumbledore said, "Yes, once again, Mary-sue's have invaded hogwarts, not that any of you know what they are, but i felt the need to tell you" Dumbledore said. Narrator rolled it's eyes and watched Mcgonagal pull the parchment up infront of her. "Ashley..." Mcgonagall said confused. She raised an eyebrow noting this girl only had a first name...

The tan, blonde girl from the train walked up. She swung her hips, and eyed Dumbledore hungrilly. The narrator walked up to the front of the Great hall, and stopped this action. "No, none of that, none of that! This is not a pedofile flic." It said, glaring at Ashley. She sat down on the stool. ( Griffindor...) "GRIFFINDOR!" The hat shouted. She only smiled, and swung her hips all the way to the cheering and whistling table.

"Crystal Swipes" Mcgonagall said, still recovering from Ashley's problem. Mcgonagall nearly fainted as Crystal walked up. Not only was she not wearing the robe uniform, but wearing a shitload of chains, and was bleeding from head to toe. ( I was wrong...she is emo ) She sat down on the stool, crying and swiping her self with the razor. People were only confused, and bewildered that no one was solving this problem. Finnally madam promfey escorted the girl out to be cleaned up.

"Patsy Voldemort!" Proffesor Flitwick said, seeming that Mcgonagall had already fainted and was also escorted away by madam Promfey. Patsy...or sailor Earth stepped up to the stool. "Wait, hold on, Your Voldemort's daughter, yet your sole thing in life is to protect Harry Potter..." The narrator asked. "Yes, that is my job." Patsy said. " HAVE YOU NOT SEEN OR READ THE BOOKS? His last name is not Voldemort, It's riddle. He named himself 'Voldemort'." The narrator cried. Patsy looked confused, but replied anyways, "You mean my life is a lie?" The narrator face planted, not returning a reply. She sat their awhile before the hat finnaly shouted, "SLYTHERIN!". "Just like my father..." Patsy said walking over to the slytherin table.

The quiet girl stood at the back of the line, not hearing her name called. " I repeat, Christine Potter, come to the front!" Proffesor Flitwick shouted once more. She did as told, and listened to the gasps all over the room. Still face planted, the narrator let this go, for now. "Griffindor!" The hat shouted, and she walked quickly to her house table.

"That is all, now lets eat!" Dumbledore said waving his wand. Food appeared on the tables and everyone started chatting away. The muggle girl stood their, out of place. "Ahem" Proffesor Sprout said, nudging Dumbledore to the girl. "Oh yes" Dumbledore said and waved his wand so the food disapeared. Ron watched the roll disapear from his hand. "Muggle...girl" Dumbledore said.

She walked up, with no name, and bearing loud music. Everyone was silent ...until.

Cliffhanger..Could not resist. XD! So...how is it so far? Review, oh and also. I'm thinking of putting a male slash sue in here. Think of any that would be good, tell me.

Ectasy


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